Humor The Gender Wars And Then The Fight Started...
And Then The Fight Started...
Saturday, 23 January 2010 00:00 | 
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I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.. I hooked up the boat up to
the truck, and procee ded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible..."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And then the fight started.....
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a dwarf.
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
Unable to help myself, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started.....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend... I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'Oh My!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....